Jan
29
Zach Galifianakis + Will Oldham + Kanye West + Cows + Tractors = ?
Sportbucketry
Bacon Explosion
To kick off the construction of this pork medley you’ll need to create a 5×5 bacon weave.
FACT: Nothing bad can result from anything beginning with a “bacon weave.”
Jan
22
The Modern Library's 100 Best Novels
That’s an awful lot of Ayn Rand and L. Ron Hubbard on the Reader’s List.
Love your dog? Why don’t you wear it?
Jan
21
Contemporary Christian Music Discovers Ryan Adams
Which suggests that roots rock ceased being culturally relevant somewhere around 2004.
Jan
19
Completely anecdotal, and probably better explained by one of these, but it seems like a disproportionate amount of support email comes from users outside the US.
Jan
16
Apple CEO Steve Jobs May Have Rickets
Doctors familiar with medicine say that Apple CEO Steve Jobs, who began a six-month medical leave of absence this week, may be suffering from rickets.
If true, the condition is far more serious than Apple has previously let on. It could sideline the “World’s Most Important” CEO for longer than he has indicated, or keep him from returning to the Apple helm at all.
Jobs was treated for pancreatic cancer in 2004, and told investors that he had made a full recovery. Nonetheless, his public appearances during 2008 made it clear Jobs was rapidly losing weight, spurring fears that his cancer had returned.
A letter Apple released on January 5 said that Jobs was suffering from a “hormone imbalance. Eight days later, the CEO said his problems were “more complex” and that he would leave the company until June to have them treated, sparking more speculation that Jobs is fatally ill.
”Given his history with pancreatic cancer, it’s impossible to rule out rickets,” said a doctor. “Cancer can have side effects throughout the body, including in the skeletal system. The information he’s provided is just too vague. Only his doctors know for sure.”
The painful surgery Jobs reportedly underwent in 2004 could also have side effects, according to another doctor. “While these procedures are generally safe and well-understood, there’s always the possibility that the body will eventually have problems with such a radical change to the system. If he’s not absorbing enough vitamin D, it could put stress on the bones and eventually lead to weight loss and, if not corrected, death.”
While Apple has a deep bench of talent to run the company in his absence, investors and analysts alike speculate that without Jobs at the helm, the company will eventually decline into the same moribund state it was in before Jobs returned to the CEO’s seat in 1997. Under his watch, Apple released mega-hit products like the iMac, the iPod, and the iPhone, all of which Jobs personally invented while refusing to take credit.
”His long-term absence puts the company’s future in jeopardy,” said an industry analyst. “Apple’s in a great position now, and Steve will be involved in major decisions while on medical leave, but if he stays gone longer than six months, or doesn’t come back at all, it’s possible that Apple will again fade into irrelevance. The company really needs a leader that the media can fixate on, because they’ve proven they won’t pay attention to the products without a personality behind them.”
Jobs, an unnecessarily private man, refused to comment for this story or to release full medical records at our request.
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